No matter how often emotions are denied, they play a significant role in our knowledge, wisdom, health and well-being, sense of beauty, business development, quality of life, and in harmonizing our relationship with the world around us. Many studies in the field of behavioral sciences prove that emotions are a powerful factor in human decision-making. Nevertheless, the common perception is that emotions cloud judgment and should generally be avoided, especially in professional situations.

Why are our emotions important?

Emotions give us the energy and inspiration we need to interact with others and develop meaningful relationships, and our ability to understand and manage them - that is, emotional intelligence - has proven its important role in many psychological and social processes. Emotions become a powerful facilitator of our thinking processes only when we understand the algorithm of the information coming from them. Yes, our emotions carry highly valuable information, and access to it belongs to those who trust their wisdom. People who understand their emotional processes and reactions are usually described as emotionally intelligent and possessing emotional wisdom. They are self-aware and intuitive toward others, they can effectively manage their relationships with people, and most importantly, they have a clear awareness of their decision-making style. They understand their mechanism of decision-making and the proportion between its rational and irrational components.

According to Prof. Stéphane Côté from the University of Toronto, “Those of us who are emotionally intelligent do not eliminate emotions from the decision-making process. They eliminate the emotions that have nothing to do with the decision.” He adds: “It is easy to see the flaws of others, but the most successful decision-makers can identify their own emotional triggers and transform them. This is the emotionally intelligent approach.”

Professor Francesca Gino from Harvard Business School suggests that when people experience strong emotions (positive or negative), they should ask themselves questions at the moment of decision-making, such as: Does the decision align with my original goals? Am I reacting to social pressure? What is the emotional trigger that is changing the direction of my thinking? Prof. Gino recommends a simple technique - taking a break, those few minutes during which people process information and identify their own emotional state. These minutes may save them from decisions they might later regret.

Can we transform our emotional triggers? Yes, but under one condition - it requires systematic awareness and knowledge about the processes related to emotional regulation. And how? Through harmonizing high emotional intelligence and emotional maturity.

Emotional intelligence and emotional maturity are two terms often used interchangeably, which can create some confusion. People may have a high level of emotional intelligence but not be emotionally mature. The process of emotional regulation goes through two systemic stages: the development of emotional intelligence and the cultivation of emotional maturity. In this sense, emotional maturity demonstrates the ability of the individual to apply the knowledge they have about their level of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is the process of understanding, recognizing, and managing human emotions - our own and those of others. A high level of emotional intelligence does not necessarily mean that we possess emotional maturity. A high level of emotional maturity is a gradual process that follows the development of emotional intelligence and emotional adaptability. Metaphorically speaking, emotional intelligence and emotional maturity are like knowledge and wisdom.

One of the key aspects of emotional maturity is the ability to determine the appropriate timing of an emotional reaction - whether to delay it or respond impulsively. Emotional maturity focuses on our emotional history - beginning with our childhood interactions with parents, teachers, friends, and others. Emotional maturity is not “intellectual”; rather, it relates to a higher state of self-awareness beyond intelligence, where a person is guided by their senses, intuition, experience, and heart. Emotional maturity is revealed through specific cognitive, emotional, and behavioral patterns, well described by the concept of a Growth Mindset.

Emotional maturity is the wisdom that can transform our emotional triggers

It is logical to describe people who have developed the skills to understand and manage their emotions as emotionally mature. Emotional maturity allows them to create the life they desire. Emotionally mature people define their success in terms of their personal resources and competencies. They have clear life goals and direction, and they strive to achieve them.

Every person has a different level of emotional maturity. The level of emotional maturity is one of the most important factors in determining people’s ability to cope with stress, deal with difficult situations, communicate effectively, develop themselves, and make choices in situations of dilemma.

The signs of emotional maturity are numerous, but some of them can be organized into a systematic approach for each person when recognizing and managing their emotional resources.

Emotional adaptability is a state in which emotionally mature people perceive each situation as unique and can adapt their behavior style while effectively managing the dynamics of their emotions. Emotional adaptability is a projection of the wisdom to anticipate the emotional consequences of future events and prepare the individual to overcome or eliminate them when possible.

Emotionally mature people take responsibility for their own lives. They understand that the circumstances they encounter are the result of the decisions they have made so far. When difficulties occur, they take responsibility for the consequences instead of blaming others. They identify what they can do differently next time and develop a plan to implement these changes.

Emotionally mature people know that they do not need to have all the answers and solutions to significant situations. What matters is that they have a systematic approach to decision-making - they can identify the problem, explore possible solutions, and visualize the right decision. The ability to visualize and project the most appropriate solution into the future is an exceptional opportunity to emotionally experience success.

Personal development is a life mission for emotionally mature people. They know the maxim that difficulties are overcome with calmness and the wisdom of common sense. These individuals have the desire to continuously learn and develop by transforming information into knowledge. Activities related to learning, personal development, and emotional growth are a fundamental part of their schedule.

Emotionally mature people always seek alternative opinions. They know that everything can be improved and refined. They do not feel threatened when others disagree with them. Instead, they seek the perspectives and views of others in order to improve their performance. Often, these individuals become models of successful people.

An exceptional quality - tolerance toward differences - is part of the identity of emotionally mature individuals. Their concept is simple: “Diversity makes the world a more beautiful place.” Even when they disagree with people, they do not feel the need to criticize them. Instead, they respect the right to difference and accept the beliefs of others.

The awareness that things sometimes go wrong is characteristic of emotionally mature people. As a result of their ability to accept reality and regulate their emotions flexibly, they understand that real life includes failures and major disappointments. Despite moments of decline, the state of resilience - which in reality represents emotional maturity - allows them to express their feelings, identify the actions they can take, and move forward while harmonizing their emotions.

Emotionally mature people are often described as calm and emotionally balanced. Despite the belief that it is difficult to maintain calmness for long periods of time, this group of people manages to remain calm despite emotional challenges because they are not dependent on the emotions of others. Emotional maturity is a symbol of emotional independence.

According to many scientific studies, emotionally mature people describe themselves as moderate optimists. They believe that success requires effort and patience. They are optimistic and know they can handle the challenges they face every day. They seek beauty around them and enjoy it, instead of focusing on negativity and becoming anchored in it.

Self-respect is an important marker of emotional maturity. Emotionally mature people know that there will always be individuals who do not approve of some of what they say or do, but they remain confident in their abilities, competencies, and personal resources. They respect themselves and remain loyal to their values.

Recent research related to maintaining a healthy and vital state suggests that emotionally mature people tend to maintain normal body mass index levels, enjoy healthy and radiant skin, and have cheerful and lively facial expressions. Most importantly, emotional intelligence and emotional maturity are among the most valuable ingredients for aesthetic procedures.

*Text by Dr. Antonina Kardasheva.